The holiday season is in full swing and it has been bittersweet. There has been so much happening since Thanksgiving that I hardly know where to start. I likely won’t even recount all of the events but, it feels like forever since I have posted anything.
Hard things first. We found out that our baby girl Cinnamon had lymphoma. And then on December 9th, we finally had to put her down. It was the most humane thing that we could have done for her. It was hard to watch her suffer when she was fighting to stay with us. It was time to let her go. But, the house isn’t the same without her here. I miss her terribly. And the other dogs are still adjusting to her absence as well. So it is a somewhat somber Christmas season for us.
I keep trying to get into the Christmas spirit. Honestly, I love Christmas. This hasn’t diminished my love for the holiday. Nor has it taken away from what I feel is the true meaning of the season. But I would be lying if I said that this wasn’t a tough year. Frankly, I’m really looking forward more to getting on with the new year because I have so much hope for that. Maybe it is because I’m in the thick of the season and I’m well aware that all of my hopes for the holiday aren’t going to happen. (Some of them, yes. Not all though.) But, it isn’t practical to think that every year will be magical and happy-go-lucky. Everyone experiences a less-than-perfect holiday season. I won’t let it turn me into a grinch.
I put up my Christmas tree. Bought some gifts (meager as they may be this year). And I have immersed myself in work both at the day job and with the books. And I’m pretty sure that will get me through the whole season. I’m okay with that this year though. It got me through last year really.
I think it is different when you’re single. There’s not much to do besides watch everyone else with their families and significant others. And for someone who wants kids and a family of their own it is a bit depressing. While you’re happy for everyone and you’re trying to really enjoy time with the loved ones you do have. There is still part of you wishing and wanting to be hearing laughter, see smiles, and making family traditions of your own. So, yes, it is bittersweet. But you muddle through and you keep praying that someday the magic will come back.
For me, I think that I need to start seriously thinking in terms of my own life and what I want it to be. Maybe it is time for me to make a tradition of my own to do each year until something in my status changes to really take part and enjoy the normal traditional things. This is a season for lovers and families. There has to be something for the singles out there. I need to find it and take part.