Being single in your 20s is different than finding yourself single at 35. At my age you’re over hanging out at the bars and clubs. Meeting people gets more difficult. And when you live in a small town, sometimes you have to get even more creative when you’re more the literary and intellectual type of person. So, if you can’t find something to start attending then you try to start something and reach out to others who would like to participate in the area. So, I’ll volunteer to organize and see what comes of it. At least I will be able to say that I tried even if I don’t have any participants. And if I don’t then I’ll get to go out and do something fun once in a while on my own.
The reality is that we all fall into routines. We get up. We have our coffee and shower. We go to work and come home. We curl up with a book, netflix, some take out, or bad cable tv. We go to bed and then, we get up and do it all over again. But to change your life you have to break out of your normal routine and put yourself out there to meet new people and develop a new social circle. It isn’t easy. We resist change. Humans are creatures of habit after all. To break a routine takes effort and commitment though.
I don’t live in an artsy area. It is mostly rough and tumble cowboys and outdoorsy types. I’m not a big drinker. I don’t like going to bars or clubs all the time. So, if I am going to get out I need to find somewhere to go that I like. Coffeehouses and book stores are the obvious choices for someone like me. But I would also like to branch out and see more of what this area has to offer. There is a local symphony orchestra, live theater, a zoo, and two shopping malls. I could easily go for lunch or some other such outing but those things are better taken in with someone else to share the experience. All of this change means many things. It is scary and exciting at the same time. Yet, finding a place to start is really the most difficult part of all of it.
I have learned a few things about myself in all of this. I have to be willing to let go of old thinking about relationships. I need to embrace friendships more than coveting a romance or the idea of a perfect relationship. Cultivating my own life needs to be a priority right now. Figuring out what I want my normal to be and doing what I need to do to achieve that. And yes, my ideal lifestyle involves a healthy social life as well.
Being single is not a bad thing for me at this point in my life. Things are evolving every day and I am trying to do my best to acclimate to those changes. It isn’t always easy. I struggle with getting things together and still living a normal life but, I am getting there a little at a time. I think that is really all anyone can do. You roll with the punches and you do what you can. Eventually you try to get out of a rut that you find yourself in to move yourself forward again.